FIRST I'm not condoning violence in the workplace or anything of that nature. Besides the violence that happens in the bedroom between consenting ADULTS. That I will whole heartedly condone.
That now being said lets ask yourself how many times have you almost died in one day?
Today I worked at one of the more ghetto liquor stores. Now I will admit a generalization of people who drink. FUCKING IDIOTS. The rare person who comes in to a liquor store, who knows actual quality in what to drink, and can pose a thought provoking question is so rare that I'm starting to stop looking at people and mocking them and just looking at people and hoping that they might have more then 2 brain cells.
Now I will admit that I'm actually drinking right now as I write this. Not only am I drinking but I'm mixing very good 10 yr old bourbon with warm coke. What separates me from the swine that I serve on a almost daily level?
Is it that I'm X-military and have seen the world?
nope.
Is it that I unlike so many of them have an IQ in the triple digits?
hell no.
Is it because their tattooed?
nope I'm tattooed myself.
Its because I know there are limitations to everyone and I accept mine.
I know I work in a sucky job.
I know I don't have the education that others have
There are loads more but this isn't about how much I suck but how much everyone else does.
Our first example on the block tonight, is a women ill be kind and say she was middle 30's of age pulled up and screamed at me, to go get her a bottle of what sounded to me as "Henery" I actually asked her in a semi polite tone what "Henery" was and was told in a clearer tone "ENVY ITS BESIDES THE HYPNOTIC, now chop to it".
Now if you have ever had the misfortune of missing the chance to listen to a women of Kentucky acting like she has actually been fortunate enough to experience the world. But is still fucking dumb enough to think that "ENVY" is a real drink that's not being pimped off by the rap world as something to sell to people who want to be "gansta", don't its fucking dumb.
To experience the same thing listen to the sound of Marry Poppins talking backwards while hitting your head with a frying pan and listing to DMX turned up way to loud. (which by the way is about the level your nob sez ON)
It was my extreme pleasure to tell her that Oops sorry we don't have any of that. You will have to come again next week.
Next fuck up of humanity was a 24 yr old kid with 3 of the most annoying traits that I find in a fuck up.
1. A man wearing a pink shirt. WTF Mate a man wearing a pink shirt is just a giant flag to the rest of the world as a please beat me up I'm a fucking pansy.
2. He had a pop'd up collar. Am I only one who thinks that men with popped up collars are one of the gayest looking fucktards in the world? To me there is now greater sign to the world. Saying 'I'M A POMPOUS TWIT PLEASE MAKE FUN OF ME!!!1!". For a stellar example of it look at the pic I've provided for your viewing pleasure.
3. ATTITUDE. There are times that attitude is not only called for but absolutely needed. For example when you have a women kneeling down and kissing your feet. You better have attitude and bring it hard. But, when i go out of the way to make eye contact with you walk over to a empty cash register, open it up, and announce in a clear concise voice. ''Sir I can help you over here" you had better not ignore me. And when my boss is looking at me in that "why are you not helping him" when I ask you again if you need any help.
DO NOT WALK OVER TO ME WITH ENOUGH ATTITUDE THAT I SHOULD SOME HOW GET ON MY FUCKING KNEES THAT YOU DECIDE TO GRACE ME WITH YOUR PRESENCE.
This kid walks up to me and give me a 6 pack of bitch beer and a halfpint of basic whisky. Its not even the basic 7 year but the ultra cheap (by that i mean a fucking buck off) 4 year. He looks young to me so i get to employ my very fun right to card anyone that I feel like and ask him for ID.
He pulls out a Military ID and then tosses it at on the table. I pick it up check it out, hes of age and happens to be active duty Airforce.
This explains a bit of that attitude as he seems to be just young, dumb, and full of cum.
He tries to pay with credit card( and I wonder about people who pay for something like Booze on a credit card). and the back is not signed. So once more I card this lil punk and explain to him that I have to card him because he didnt take the whopping 3 seconds it takes to sign the back of a card. Hell I have more respect for people who put C ID on the back of thier cards. Despite the fact that they didn't the loads of extra effort in replacing the C with SEE.
To which this lil ass punk pulls out his ID and tosses it on the counter again at me. Now I know that with a name like sidebottom that it was his credit card cause anyone with a pair of balls would have changed that fucking name the day they got out from under thier parents wings.
Now let me explaine something that might make this a lil bit more clear why this is annoying me.
I just happen to be a 6 foot two biker, who needs to shave, whoes bike is parked on the side walk in front of the store so that everyone has to look at it. when I walked in to work today I left my helmet on and walked up to the whore who works there on the same night as me and leaned over at her and then I put my hand on counter and then scared her so much by just acting myself she admited that she pee'd herself a lil bit when i reached up to take off my helmet.
so when a 24 year old punk give me attitude just because "hes in the airforce"
it tends to annoy me.
A LOT
A FUCKING LOT.
I just wish I could start hitting customers who need it.
Which brings me up to the last loser.
A couple brings up to me to ring up a six of bitch beer. some margerita mix with the alchohal all ready in it. (guess the brand) and an other half pint of fucking cheap ass 4 yr old basic whisky.
I'm slightly annoyed still from the punk so I get to play my lets card everyone game and then the women suprise suprise. "I dont have my ID its in the truck" twirl hair here. I say with a large smile sorry ma'am you have to leave the store you have to have proof of being 21 to even be in the store. to which the pissy lil fucks who were in thier late 30's leave the booze on the counter and march out. "We dont need to be subected to this'' Is what they say as and i which i could make this shit up. tilted thier head up and walked out.
Now I what you to think to the 3 examples above you. If you even think you might be
resempling something that I might feel the need to make fun of, just think that your just anouther step closer to getting you god damn head fucking kicked in by a huge fucking biker who is realy fucking pissed off at all the idiots that I have to deal with.
You have been warned.
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